Ugly Motives
Matthew 6:1-18
Kurt Warner, retired two-time NFL MVP quarterback of the Rams and the Cardinals, also a Super Bowl champion, started a family tradition during his playing career that he calls The Restaurant Game. The night before he headed out for a road game, Kurt and his wife took their seven kids out to eat a family dinner. Once the Warner family was seated they would pray, and then one of the kids would scan the dining area like a quarterback looking for open receivers. When the Warner kid picked a table, Kurt would ask the waiter to add that table’s dinner tab to his own – all anonymously. At a steakhouse before a September game against the New York Jets, a family of four received a free meal without knowing it came from an NFL star.
The idea for The Restaurant Game came to Warner and his wife after he led the Rams to a Super Bowl win in 2000. It’s a natural fit for them. They remember the days before his NFL career. Kurt wasn’t drafted after his senior season in college. He was signed as an undrafted free agent by the Packers but was released before the season started. So he got a job working a night shift at a grocery store, and he and his wife only had food stamps to feed their family. That was before he was eventually picked up by the Rams to be a backup quarterback and was then got a play when the starter he was backing up got hurt in the preseason. From NFL washout and living on food stamps working nights at a grocery store to two-time league MVP and Super Bowl champion. That’s quite a journey. But he and his wife never forgot where they had been.
With that in mind, giving is a joyful family tradition for the Warners. Kurt says, “We want our kids to grow up knowing that because of football we are blessed.”
Warner’s motto for life and ministry is “Faith and Family First.” The Restaurant Game is one way he’s passing that motto on to his children. When they go out to eat, they always pray and pick up someone’s dinner bill before they enjoy their own.
You know, no one would think a thing about it if he walked up to the table, told them he was picking up their tab, and took a few pictures with them. Maybe signed an autograph. Everyone would be gushing about what a great guy he is. But that isn’t how the family does it. The kids pick the table, and Kurt and his wife pick up the tab anonymously.
Today is the third Sunday of Advent – the season of preparing ourselves to celebrate the coming of Christ over the Christmas holiday, or holy day, which is what holiday means. Our Advent sermon series this year is called Ugly Christmas Sweaters, and we’re talking about four ugly things we tend to “wear,” even as followers of Christ, that we need to take off for good. The first ugly sweater is Ugly Thoughts, getting rid of selfish, judgmental stinkin’ thinkin’ by leaning into joy and peace and practicing gratitude. The second ugly sweater is Ugly Words, recognizing the power and destructiveness of our tongues, seeking to allow God to transform our speech by asking three questions before we talk: Is it true? Is it necessary? And is it kind?
Today we’re looking at the third ugly sweater – ugly motives. Because our reasons for doing something are just as important as the thing that we do. Turn with me to Matthew 6:1-18.
You know that phrase, “Can’t see the forest for the trees?” It means that some people get so focused on minutia that they miss the big picture. Truth is, there is value in both perspective. You can find beauty by taking a step back and taking in the whole forest from a distance, and you can find beauty by looking at the details in the bark of an individual tree – the structure of its leaves, the patterns in its bark, the birds and insects that call the tree home. The key is to train yourself to be able to see BOTH the forest as a whole AND the individual trees.
The same is true in our study of Scripture. Some people prefer to take a step back and see the grand story of Scripture – the themes that run throughout and the big picture. Others like to look closely at smaller segments. I tend to preach smaller segments, sometimes just a couple of verses. Sometimes larger chunks, depending on the genre that we’re dealing with and what that genre demands. But because I tend to deal with things more at a tree level, I usually spend some time providing context, reminding us of what has been taught in previous passages and the place our passage has in the whole.
The last time I preached this passage, I did it in three sermons. I’ve also done a nine sermon series on just one of these three segments. Today though, we’re going to take a step back and look at these 18 verses as a whole, because there’s something incredibly important to see there too. This passage is a part of what we call The Sermon on the Mount. It contains the heart of the teaching of Jesus, things that he fleshed out in greater detail in other places. And in these 18 verses, as Jesus teaches about giving generously, and prayer, and fasting – three core spiritual disciplines, he is also using all three together to talk about the heart behind these good things. While teaching about all three, he’s also teaching about our motives as his followers. What SHOULD motivate us to do these things, and anything else we do as followers of Jesus?
Jesus doesn’t want us to be a people who do the right things for the wrong reasons. Look at V. 1. It’s the theme verse for this entire passage. Beware of doing good, righteous, faith-based things only to be seen by others. He goes on to say, when you give, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. When you pray, find a quiet, unseen place and pray in secret. When you fast, don’t walk around looking like you’re suffering. Dress yourself up and carry yourself as you normally do. Don’t draw attention to your fast.
Notice first of all that Jesus doesn’t say, “If you give, If you pray, If you fast.” He says “When.” When you give. When you pray. When you fast. He simply assumes that those who follow him will be doing these things. It’s a part of what it means to follow Jesus. Here’s the thing – doing them doesn’t somehow make you super spiritual. Some of us think because we do these things, we’re special. Others of us think we aren’t good enough to do these things. They’re for the really spiritual people. Neither is true.
Truth is, they’re important, and they’re things that all of his followers seek to incorporate into their lives. Jesus isn’t criticizing the acts themselves, or the people who do them. He’s saying that WHY we do what we do is just as important as what we do.
Fasting is the one that really gets people in our current cultural climate, because denying yourself anything really isn’t seen as a good or valuable thing to do. We’ve become incredibly hedonistic. And while fasting often involves food, it doesn’t have to. Many Christ followers like to fast from something during Lent, the six weeks between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday. It might involve food, or a specific kind of food. But it also might involve something else, like watching tv or scrolling social media or consuming alcohol.
In the Old Testament, only one day per year was set aside as a day of fasting – the day of Atonement. Other days some became popular fast days too, so there were a few in Jesus’ day. Some had taken to fasting twice a week. But they were only commanded by God in Scripture to fast one day per year. And the fast was usually dinner to dinner, so basically you skipped breakfast and lunch.
Jesus just assumes that his people will be generous givers, people of prayer, and people who fast in some way. But he wants us to pay attention to why we do those things, and other things too. Why do we do what we do?
And we’re good at fooling ourselves when it comes to looking at our motives. Some of us do them out of pride. We want to be seen being generous, or praying, or fasting, so that people will admire our spiritual strength. We’re more than willing to give generously, even sacrificially. We just want others to appreciate our selflessness.
Or we do them so that we’ll have influence. People will see us as being spiritually mature, and then they’ll listen to us and do what we say to do. We’ll have influence over others. It’s a subtle way of getting our way. People will come to us for advice and direction.
Or we do them so that we can feel like we’re better than the other Christ followers around us. Now, I’m not suggesting that these thoughts are overt and conscious. They can be subconscious and driving us nonetheless. That’s what makes motives so sticky. They’re hard to nail down. Hard to find. Hard to look at.
That’s why Jesus says, “Don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing.” “Go into your room and shut the door” when you pray. And try not to look like you’re fasting when you’re fasting. Don’t give yourself the opportunity to fool yourself. In Luke 16:15 Jesus says, “You are those who justify yourselves before men, but God knows your hearts. For what is exalted among men is an abomination in the sight of God.” God knows your heart. And God alone knows your heart perfectly.
The Old Testament Israelite king, David, a man who was known for sometimes having mixed motives acknowledges this when he prays, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!” (Ps. 139:23-24). David knew how easily he could fool himself. And he knew that only God could really know his heart, know his motives, and sort it all out. So he asks God to search his heart for him and then lead him into pure motives.
Author Ed Dobson wrote a book titled The Year of Living Like Jesus, in which he tells the story in diary form of how he tried to live as Jesus lived and as Jesus taught for a year. On day thirteen of month one, he records this story:
My wife and I drove to Key West. I decided to take a day off from reading. As we walked past a restaurant on Duvall Street, a man, who’d obviously been drinking, called from the steps: “Hey, could spare some change so I can get something to eat?”
I’ve heard that line a lot, and I know a number of responses. First, you can simply ignore such people. After all, he will most likely use whatever money you give him to buy more alcohol, and, therefore, you’d be enabling his habit. Second, you can offer to take him to a restaurant to buy him something to eat. In most cases the person will not go because he mainly wants the money to buy alcohol. Third, you can point him to an organization that provides meals for the homeless. Many such organizations exist in most cities.
What did my wife and I do? We walked past the man without doing anything, as we have done with so many other people over the years. After all, it’s not our fault that he is where he is.
But after we’d walked on a little farther, he called after us, “Can you help a Vietnam vet?” My youngest son is a veteran, and I deeply respect those who have served their country in that way. So I stopped, walked back to him, and gave him a dollar. At that moment I remembered the words of Jesus: “Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.” It’s as simple as that – give to the one who asks. He asked. I had an obligation to give.
As I walked down the street, a wonderful peace came over me because I felt I’d actually obeyed one of Jesus’ teachings. I knew he’d probably use it to buy more alcohol and that I probably hadn’t made the wisest choice. And I also knew that a dollar wasn’t really going to help him. But I had no other choice. He asked and I was obligated.
Still, what caused me to give him the money was not really my responsibility to follow Jesus, but the fact that he was a veteran. So after my initial euphoria, I realized I had done the Jesus thing for the wrong reasons.[i]
Without the help of the Holy Spirit, we can’t parse out our motives like that. And Jesus makes it absolutely clear, motives matter. But we cannot allow ourselves to be paralyzed by this and think, well then I’m not going to give, or pray, or fast. Why? Because Jesus tells us exactly how to do it. Do it quietly, anonymously.
And yet, we’re also supposed to let our light shine, right? I mean, earlier in the Sermon on the Mount, IN THE SAME SERMON, Jesus tells us to “let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven” (Matt. 5:16). So which is it Jesus? Do it in secret, or before others so that they’re inspired to follow Jesus and glorify God too? Which is it? One wise man tackles that problem like this: If you’re tempted to hide your good works, show them. If you’re tempted to show your good works, hide them. Because the temptation will reveal the motivation.
Motive matters, and it isn’t something we talk about very much. And on our own we’ll never be able to sort out our motives. My challenge to you today is twofold. First, have the courage to pray David’s prayer, “Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”
And second, do something for someone this week completely anonymously. Be generous without letting even your left hand know what your right hand is doing. It’s time to take off that third ugly Christmas sweater – ugly motives. Let’s pray.
[i] Ed Dobson, The Year of Living Like Jesus (Zondervan, 2010), pp. 24-25