Ugly Actions
Colossians 3:12-17
NPR ran a really moving story about a father and son that aired on their hit radio show “This American Life.” The episode was titled “Know When to Fold ’Em,” and it focuses on a man named David Dickerson’s return to the Christian household he hadn’t visited since he left for college. About ten years later, as a hostile 28-year-old, Dickerson wants to undermine what he saw as his father’s “repressive” faith. On the show David says,
I had all this ammunition, and I couldn’t wait to use it … And I remember thinking, this is a showdown because my dad and I were at war. My dad didn’t know this, but I was at war with him. I was at war with all Christians, and I was just waiting for an excuse to have a shot.
So when his father innocently mentioned some mission work he’d been praying about, David unleashed his verbal assault with both barrels. He says:
I just rambled on like this. And I knew, essentially, while I was doing this, I was also assaulting his dream. You know, saying everything he was excited about, that he was sharing with me, was misbegotten, was a bad idea, was morally corrupt …. And he just kind of quietly let me do my thing.
David’s father let him expend every round of ammunition without arguing or retreating. He simply looked at David and said, “David, I’m really proud of everything you’ve done.” David concluded the show by saying,
And I remember looking at my dad, and I thought – I had sort of expected to argue …. You know, not to win, but to come to some kind of armistice. You know, some kind of truce …. I hadn’t expected to lose completely, because you can’t argue with decency. You can’t argue with goodness.
How would you respond if your adult child lit into you like that? Or a friend? Or a family member? Or someone at work? I can’t speak for you, but I’d likely get defensive and argue back, verbally assault them back, or I’d just get out of there and retreat. The one thing I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to do is what that dad did – let him unload on me, and then speak to him in love. Most of us, if we’re honest, would admit that we return to others the treatment that they give us.
Today we’re wrapping up our advent sermon series called “Ugly Christmas Sweaters.” In these four sermons, we’ve looked at four things we as Christ followers need to take off for good, things uglier than the ugliest Christmas sweaters that we tend to wear throughout the year. – ugly thoughts, ugly words, and ugly motives. Today, as we step into the final days of Advent, we’re going to work on taking off ugly actions. Turn with me to Colossians 3:12-17.
I’m actually going to briefly read the paragraph before this one too, because Paul actually uses the words “take off” and “put on.” Take off this old, ugly stuff, and put on these new things you receive in Christ. So look first at Colossians 3:5-10. TAKE OFF these old, ugly actions – things like being controlled by your anger and wrath. We all FEEL anger. Jesus FELT anger. But Paul tells us, in your anger do not sin (Eph. 4:26), right? So we all feel anger, but we are not to be controlled by our anger. We’re to take off things like malice and slander and sexual immorality and covetousness.
And Paul uses strong language for covetousness which is a strong desire to have something that doesn’t belong to you. It can be related to being really materialistic, OR to being controlled by lust, if what you covet is a person. But Paul actually calls covetousness idolatry. It’s worshipping the false god of stuff, of wanting what you don’t have. We are to take off these ugly actions. But Paul also tells us what to put on. Now look at Vv. 12-17.
Paul begins by describing who we are in Christ. And he describes us using three words. The first is “chosen ones.” We have all experienced rejection. We live in a world of rejection. We reject people because of the color of their skin. We reject people because they aren’t smart enough, or pretty enough, or strong enough, or tough enough, or talented enough, or athletic enough. Whether its rejection on the playground as a child, or not making the team or cast, or being rejected by your dream college, or a job you want, or being rejected by someone you love, we’ve all known rejection. Some more than others for sure. But we’ve all known rejection. We’ve all been told, “You aren’t wanted. You aren’t good enough. You don’t belong here.”
That’s why Paul’s words leap off the page. “As God’s chosen ones …” I can’t look each one of you in the eye at the same time, but I want you to look me in the eye right now as I say these words. Are you ready? Here goes. “You are chosen. By God.” God has chosen to reach out to us in love. When someone places their faith in Christ, we often say that that person has “come to Christ.” But nothing could be further from the truth. The truth is, that person hasn’t come to Christ. Christ has come to them. We don’t come to him. He comes to us. He chooses you, not because you’re the only one left and there’s no other choice, but because he wants you on his team. Our salvation depends not on our love-ability, but on God’s love.
And because we are God’s “chosen ones,” Paul tells us we are “holy and beloved.” Holy doesn’t mean perfect, as we tend to think of it today. It means dedicated, not in the sense that he or she is a dedicated person, but as something or someone dedicated, set aside, for someone or something. In our wedding ceremony I dedicated myself to Becky. It means that I set myself aside for her and her alone, forsaking all others. It means that I am committed to her in a way that I am committed to no other human being. I belong to her. When God calls us holy, he is saying that because he has chosen us, we are set aside for his purpose, and that purpose is to live in the world as people filled with the life of Christ.
And then he uses the word “beloved.” You are deeply loved by God. Regardless of who you are. Regardless of what you have done. Regardless of how many times you haven’t been chosen, you are deeply loved by God. So much so that he calls you “beloved.” You are one of “God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved.” Now, there’s something we need to see here. Each one of these titles in the Old Testament were applied to the people of Israel. And in the New Testament, they were applied to Christ. Christ is called “a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious …” (1 Pet. 2:4). Christ is “the Holy One of God” (John 6:69). And he is “the Beloved” (Eph. 1:6). Not only does Christ give us his life, he gives us his identity. Jesus is God’s chosen one, holy and beloved. In Christ, we are chosen ones, holy and beloved.
Now, let’s look at the rest of V. 12. Because we are chosen ones, holy and beloved, we are to take off the ugly actions that defined us before we knew Christ, and put on new actions that grow out of our identity in Christ. He begins with compassionate hearts. Literally translated this phrase would read “bowels of mercy.” See, in the ancient world, tender emotions were viewed as originating in the bowels. Sounds weird, I know. But if you think about it, it kind of makes sense. What Paul is talking about is something that originates deep within you. A compassionate heart, true compassion, isn’t shallow. It isn’t something you just do to be nice. It comes from deep within you.
It also doesn’t mean you let people do whatever they want. Having a compassionate heart doesn’t mean I never speak out about evil or injustice. Just the opposite, true compassion is more than an emotion, more than mere sentiment. It requires me to act. At Christ Church we have compassionate hearts for the poor and homeless in our community. So you’ve heard me TALK about our need for compassion for the poor. And you’ve heard us PRAY for the poor and homeless. But real compassion also leads us to seek to DO SOMETHING. That’s why we have a food pantry and serve a community meal every week. But we are also to show this kind of compassion day in and day out. Is your life marked by a compassionate heart that seeks to do something for those you have compassion for?
Next Paul talks about kindness. Kindness is more than just being nice. Again, it comes from deep within us. It’s an attitude that genuinely sees other people as inherently valuable and values them as human beings. In Luke Jesus tells us to “Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil” (Lk 6:34). Are you known for your kindness, especially toward those who can do nothing for you in return?
And then there’s humility. I teach a lot about humility, because the Bible talks about humility a lot. But most of us have no idea what real humility is. Most of us think it’s having a low view of yourself. But notice the focus of that kind of false humility. It’s still on the self. It’s still on me. Thinking poorly of self is still focusing on the self. If we are truly humble, it isn’t that we don’t think much of ourselves, but that we don’t think of ourselves much at all.
A humble person is genuinely focused on the other person rather than on the self. Humility doesn’t require me to completely ignore myself and not meet my own needs. It simply requires me to consistently focus on and seek the best for the other. It is to love my neighbor as I love myself. A community marked by true humility will be free from the tensions that arise from pride and constant self-assertion. Are you known for your humility, or do you tend to focus on yourself and what you want?
And then there’s meekness, which can also be translated as gentleness. This is another one of those traits we typically misunderstand. In the ancient world, meekness or gentleness wasn’t viewed as a trait to be cultivated, it was viewed as something to be gotten rid of and avoided, cut out of your life. But the truth is, meekness isn’t weakness. Jesus was gentle, but still showed anger and got indignant on more than one occasion. He was gentle, but he wasn’t a doormat, and we aren’t to be doormats either.
True meekness or gentleness, far from being weak, grows out of a strong sense of who you are as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved. It grows out of knowing yourself deeply and operating out of a real sense of God’s control of your life.
The Old Testament book of Numbers paints a beautiful picture of meekness. It describes Moses as being “very meek, more than all people who were on the face of the earth” (Num. 12:3). Moses was facing opposition to his God-appointed leadership not by the people themselves but by his two closest associates, Miriam and Aaron the High Priest. And God became angry with them and confronted them and struck Miriam with leprosy. And it was Moses, the one who confronted Pharaoh, the one who led the people out of Egypt, the one who led them through the Red Sea on dry ground. He sought healing for those who tried to undermine him. Meekness isn’t weakness. Meekness, gentleness, is great strength under great control. Do you handle situations gently, especially when you are under fire?
And then there’s patience. Not only did Moses show gentleness, he showed patience. Patience is more than just being able to wait. It is being able to endure, specifically the ability to endure rejection and injury from other people. Patience is the ability to endure attacks from other people and keep on loving and forgiving long after whatever natural human ability endure and forgive has been spent.
Look at V. 13. Patience requires us to bear with one another and forgive each other. In fact, our lives are to be marked by forgiveness. Those who have been forgiven much by God are to be generously forgiving toward one another. Bearing with one another simply means letting others be themselves.
Now look at what Paul says in V. 14. If compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, and forgiveness are our new clothes as God’s chosen, holy, and beloved people, then love is the belt that holds them all together. And friends, love is an action word. Sometimes it is also an emotion, but it is so much more. In Galatians Paul says that love is an active expression of our faith, “faith working through love” (Gal. 5:6). Every commandment, every encouragement in Scripture is summed up in that one little word – love. To love God and love our neighbor as ourselves, understand that our neighbor is anyone anywhere we might come into contact with, is to fulfill every law in the Old Testament and to live by God’s law of love.
It doesn’t mean we never say no. Sometimes love requires it. It doesn’t mean we never confront. Sometimes love requires it. It does mean that we search our hearts before we speak and act, for it is a love expressed in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, and forgiveness. It doesn’t mean that the words we speak or the things we do will always be easy for the other to receive.
But in difficult situations, the peace of God is the referee, the umpire, the arbiter. Look at V. 15. The word rule there means to serve as arbiter. We might think of the peace of Christ as the umpire in a baseball game, calling balls and strikes, safes and outs, fairs and fouls. The peace of Christ here isn’t an inner peace, the absence of anxiety. It is peace between people. The body of Christ is to be marked by harmony and peace growing out of love, compassion, kindness, gentleness, humility, and patience.
Seems like a lot to put on, doesn’t it? So how do we get here? Look down at Vv. 16-17. The life of Christ comes to life in us as we participate in the body of Christ. The context here is communal, it’s plural. It’s popular today to say that being a part of a church isn’t necessary to follow Christ. It’s popular to speak poorly of the church as an institution, and let’s be honest, the church has earned a lot of the criticism it’s received. The church may be the bride of Christ, but we are still an imperfect bride. At our worst we can cause a lot of pain. Here Paul paints a picture of what we can be at our best as the spirit of God moves in and among us, as we take off the ugly sweater of ugly actions and put on the beautiful new clothes that Christ gives us.
Sam Allberry wrote an article for the Gospel Coalition. In that article, he wrote these words:
A friend of mine has a little motto thing on the wall of her office, one of these little sayings that someone has printed out prettily and put a frame around. And it says this: “Those who hear not the music, think the dancer is mad.”
It’s true. If you watch a music video and you take away the volume, it looks ridiculous. There’s a lot of strutting. A lot of pouting. You put the sound back on and it does begin to make a bit of sense.
Jesus is our music, but it is unheard by the world. The world sees us taking off the ugly Christmas sweaters – ugly thoughts, ugly words, ugly motives, and ugly actions, replacing them with the beauty that Christ gives us. But to them our behavior is crazy, because they can’t hear the music. Dance anyway. Take off the ugly Christmas sweaters, and leave them off. Replace them with healthy, good thoughts, beautiful, uplifting words, Christ-centered motives, and beautiful actions that grow out of our identity as “God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved.” Let’s pray.