God’s Love and a Mother’s Love

Isaiah 66:7-14

Sometimes we think dads have a corner on the “bad gifts given by my children” market, but moms sometimes get some pretty bad gifts too.

According to a British survey, 40 percent of moms have received an unwanted Mother’s Day gift, but most of them were too polite to complain. Here’s a partial list of the 30 worst Mother’s Day gifts (according to moms who actually received these gifts):

• Deodorant
• Fire extinguisher
• Cleaning supplies
• A stick of French bread
• Salad dressing
• Popcorn
• Ants (perhaps an ant farm for Mom)
• Hair dye
• Screwdriver
• Toilet roll
• Calculator
• Car parts

Another newspaper ran an article titled “20 awful Mother’s Day cards that you absolutely should not buy.” The article is clear: Do NOT buy these cards.

Mom, thanks for always checking up on me (with a picture of a cell phone with 24 unanswered calls from “Mom”).

Well I guess this Mother’s Day card is late. Looks like someone wasn’t raised properly.

I’m awesome. You’re welcome. To the luckiest Mom ever.

Mom I love you loads. (A picture of a laundry basket overflowing with clothes.) Speaking of loads … can you do my laundry?[i]

Like most holidays, Mother’s Day brings a variety of emotions to the surface. For some, it’s a good day full of warm memories. For others, it’s a sad day thinking of moms who have passed away. For still others, it’s an angry, bitter day because of moms who fell too far short in their role as mom. And for many, it’s a day of longing because you’re unable to conceive and have biological children of your own. We aren’t all moms, at least biologically speaking. But we all HAVE moms. And for those of us who had moms whose brokenness was a little too close to the surface, there are other influential women in our lives – teachers, coaches, pastors, mentors, friends moms, and others who played the role of mom in our lives in some way.

And so today, we pause to thank God for motherhood and the role of moms in our lives, and to our moms for the role they played as instruments in God’s hands to shape us. Because in many ways, a mother’s love is one of the most God-like loves you’ll ever experience.

Because Scripture refers to God as “Father,” we often think of God’s love in male, fatherly terms and concepts. But Scripture does attribute more motherly aspects of love to God as well. A mother’s love, at its best, is a reflection of God’s love for us. And that is why it is so tragic and hurts so much when moms fall too far short of God’s plan for motherhood and aren’t able to love their children well. Not perfectly. No mom or dad can love perfectly. But well. So turn with me to Isaiah 66:7-14 as we look at how God’s love for us as his children is reflected in a mother’s love for her children. This is a passage that describes the birthing of the people of God.

Moms who love their children well understand that children are a gift from God, regardless of their behavior in the moment. Look closely at Vv. 7-9.

There are few forms of physical suffering that can compare with what a mother goes through during childbirth. I was once told by a female nurse, who had also gone through childbirth, that a kidney stone was the closest thing a man could come to experiencing the pain of childbirth. And not only is it painful, it’s exhausting. Pushing a 7-10 lb living thing out of the human body is no small feat. It can be excruciating and exhausting. In the ancient world, it was also dangerous. The likelihood that a woman could and would die during childbirth or shortly after was much higher then than it is today. And tragically, even with our modern medical knowledge and technology, it still happens, just no where near as often.

The pain of not being able to have children can be just as emotionally excruciating as the physical pain of having children. Finding out that, no matter how hard you try, you will not be able to have children is an incredibly painful message for many to hear from their doctors. So I find it interesting that the primary image the prophet Isaiah uses for the disobedient people of God is barrenness.

Isaiah 26:16-18 says, “O Lord, in distress they sought you; they poured out a whispered prayer when your discipline was upon them. Like a pregnant woman who writhes and cries out in her pangs when she is near to giving birth, so were we because of you, O Lord; we were pregnant, we writhed, but we have given birth to wind. We have accomplished no deliverance in the earth, and the inhabitants of the world have not fallen.” That’s a striking image, isn’t it? All the pain of childbirth, but no child to love on the other end.

Isaiah 37:3 says “They said to him, “Thus says Hezekiah, ‘This day is a day of distress, of rebuke, and of disgrace; children have come to the point of birth, and there is no strength to bring them forth.”

Isaiah wrote just prior to the Babylonians’ conquering of Judah and destruction of Jerusalem and the remaining people of God being taken into exile in Babylon. And the book of Isaiah actually depicts three different time periods. The first is during Isaiah’s lifetime, before the exile. In the second, Isaiah is allowed by God to look forward prophetically and see the time of exile. And in the third, he is allowed to see even further, beyond the exile, to God’s salvation of his people in Jesus and even further beyond, to the final consummation of all things at the return of Christ. That is the time period Isaiah is referring to here, in the last chapter of Isaiah. He’s describing, in very different language, the same things St. John describes in parts of the book of Revelation.

Throughout the first two sections of Isaiah, all he sees in the people of God is barrenness and still birth. So it’s startling when, in the last chapter of Isaiah, he describes the people of God as no longer barren, but fruitful. And he describes child birth as no longer painful, but as easy and painless. Isaiah looks back to Genesis 3 and the curse because of our sin. “To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children.”

And then he looks forward to a time when the curse is no more, as it is swallowed up in God’s final victory over sin and death. “Before she was in labor she gave birth; before her pain came upon her she delivered a son. Who has heard such a thing? Who has seen such things?” Those are rhetorical questions. We all know that childbirth causes pain. It’s just the way things are. But God is not done yet. Where there was once curse, Isaiah now sees blessing. Where there was once pain, he sees no suffering. Where there was barrenness and still birth, he sees life. “Shall I, who cause to bring forth, shut the womb?” God is the God of life, not of death.

Yes, for now there is barrenness and still birth and futility in this world, both literally and figuratively. We struggle under the curse of sin. We know the sting of pain. But there is a day still to come when the life of God will rule the day, and that is a reason for hope. You see, a mother’s love is a love filled with hope – knowing that God isn’t finished yet and barrenness doesn’t get the final word.

Yes, some experience barrenness in this life. But look around you. There are children to love. There are children in need of adoption. There are children in need of good, safe, healthy foster homes while broken and shattered parents get things together. There’s a great need for foster parents who are trained to love broken children who have experienced deep, deep trauma. Whether your physical womb is barren or not, there is a great need for your love and compassion and hope-filled love, pointing others to Christ.

When a young man forgot to notify his grandmother of a change in his cell phone number before Thanksgiving, the result was touching. That grandmother, Wanda Dench texted a number that had originally been her grandson’s, inviting him over for a Thanksgiving meal. Instead of her grandson, the text went to 17 year-old Jamal Hinton. The two figured out the mistake quickly, but Hinton asked if it was possible to “still get a plate.” In grandmotherly fashion, Dench responded, “Of course you can. That’s what grandmas do. When asked about the encounter after Thanksgiving, the young man said, “I’m thankful for all the nice people in the world. I never met her … and she welcomed me into her house, so that shows me how great of a person she is.”

That happened back in 2016. And Jamal still enjoys Thanksgiving dinner with Wanda and her family. He was there for her when her husband died of Covid. Jamal’s girlfriend is now a part of the gathering too, and Wanda had been there for the big events in their lives. Wanda says that Jamal “literally changed my life and my point of view on young generations about being open to friendships when you think you have nothing in common with somebody. But when you just sit and talk to them? Oh my gosh … He’s in my heart for life.”

In the Kingdom of God, there’s always room for another one of his children, no matter how undeserving they seem to us. The same is true in the heart of a mother when as the love of God flows through her … there’s always room for one more to love, whether the child carries her genes or not. Moms who love with God’s love understand that every child is a gift from God, whether that child is hers or not. And barrenness doesn’t get the final word. The life of God does.

Second, moms who love their children well meet the needs of their children. Look at Vv. 10-11. The barren mother has given birth, and now she will protect and provide for her child. There aren’t many sad tears in birthing rooms. Not when everything goes the way it should. There may be tears, but they are happy tears. Whether the child is first or fifth, boy or girl, expected or unexpected, there is joy in the birthing room. Why? Because new life has been given to this world.

The pain of childbirth may not be forgotten, but it is in the past. It doesn’t take long at all for mom to go from the depths of agony and pain and exertion to the heights of joy as the baby is placed on her breast. In the kingdom of God, the pain and exertion is in the cross, in the cry of the forsaken Christ, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matt. 27:46). The pain is in the cross, but the joy of the empty tomb, sin and death defeated, is soon to follow. Agony is replaced by joy. The joy of new life.

Now, when I’m working with struggling parents, I go over the different phases of parenting – from controlling to coaching to consulting. When a baby is born, it can do two things on its own … cry and poop. It can’t walk, or crawl, or even roll over. It is stuck looking at whatever is in front of it wherever you put it. The baby can’t wash itself, or change its clothes, or change its diaper. A baby can cry and poop. It is totally dependent on you for everything else. A baby cannot satisfy its own needs. It can only make them known – by crying and pooping.

And what does mom do? No matter how tired she is, how frustrated she is, she meets those needs. Never perfectly. Even in the best of circumstances, with the best of moms, human patience and our ability to provide has its limits. Every mom will eventually run dry. But that isn’t the case with the love of God. Look at V. 11. The comfort and provision of God never run out.

When Sterling was a baby, he accepted comfort from one person and one person only. Becky. Our kids were in childcare and preschool in the same church in which I worked. When Sterling started there, the teachers would come get me when they couldn’t console him. But we soon learned that in Sterling’s infant mind, I was in the same category as every single one of his caregivers: not mom. One more than one occasion, we had to contact Becky to come and comfort him, because no one else could do it. They eventually started bypassing me and just called Becky.

The care and provision and comfort of God never run dry. Neither does God’s patience and willingness to provide. His love is always there. And moms who love their children well know how to provide for their children in ways no one else can.

Third, moms who love their children well comfort their children when they are hurting and afraid. Look at Vv. 12-13. When baby Sterling was upset, he ran to his mom for comfort. We all do. But as we age, we stop admitting our fears, our hurt, and our pain. Instead of running into the loving, comforting arms of God, we try to take care of things on our own. The problem is that we can’t. Our solutions only create more problems. We try to numb the pain, and we wind up in addiction. We try to ignore the hurt, and wind up hurting others. We think we’re brave, but we’re just posturing. It’s all a façade. Behind our anger and aggression and abusive behavior, taking advantage of and using others, is fear. Instead of taking our hurts, and fears, and pain to God and trusting him with it, we do our best to cover it up, hide it, and ignore it. Like a rebellious child, we refuse the help he offers.

Moms, do you ever get the feeling you’re talking to a brick wall when trying to communicate with your teens? Well, a new study suggests there may be some science to it, after finding that teenagers’ brains start tuning out their mothers’ voices around the age of 13. Researchers said that this is because they no longer find it “uniquely rewarding,” and instead tune into unfamiliar voices more. It’s adaptive – it’s a part of them preparing to leave the nest. It’s also incredibly annoying.

The study by the Stanford School of Medicine used MRI brain scans to give the first detailed neurobiological explanation for how teenagers begin to separate from their parents. It suggests that when your teenagers don’t seem to hear you, it’s not simply that they don’t want to clean their room or finish their homework – their brains aren’t registering your voice the way they did in pre-teenage years.

Lead study author Daniel Abrams said, “Just as an infant knows to tune into her mother’s voice, an adolescent knows to tune into novel voices. As a teen, you don’t know you’re doing this. You’re just being you: You’ve got your friends and new companions and you want to spend time with them. Your mind is increasingly sensitive to and attracted to these unfamiliar voices.”

Researchers said, “The brain’s shift toward new voices is an aspect of healthy maturation. A child becomes independent at some point, and that has to be precipitated by an underlying biological signal. This signal helps teens engage with the world and form connections which allow them to be socially adept outside their families.”

A study published in 2016 showed that children can identify their mother’s voice with extremely high accuracy. Even fetuses in utero can recognize their mother’s voice before they’re born. Yet with adolescents their brains are tuning away from their mother’s voice in favor of voices they’ve never even heard.

Brain responses to voices increased with teenagers’ age. In fact, the relationship was so strong researchers could use the information in adolescents’ brain scans to predict how old they were. When teens appear to be rebelling by not listening to their parents, it is because they are wired to pay more attention to voices outside their home.[ii] The problem, for human children comes when they refuse to learn from or be comforted by their parents at all. Because the research also shows that the most influential voices in the lives of our teens are still the parents. Not peers or media personalities. Parents.

Here’s the key: you have to be willing to be there even when they’ve been acting disrespectfully. The love of God is tough. As soon as we turn to him, he is there with welcoming arms ready to comfort, no matter what we have done. The love of a mother is tough too. It’s always there. No matter how frustrating, or annoying, or rebellious the behavior of her children. She’ll allow her children to experience the consequences of their actions, but she’ll never stop loving them. Moms who love their children well comfort their children when they are hurting and afraid, no matter what.

And that’s the key: no matter what. The love of a mother is there, like the love of God, no matter what. It never runs out.

Moms who love their children well understand that children are a gift from God, regardless of their behavior in the moment.

They know how to provide for their children in ways no one else can.

And they comfort their children when they are hurting and afraid. And moms, we thank you for that. Let us pray.

[i] Tom Kershaw, “Are these worst Mother’s Day gifts ever? Mums reveal the presents they’d rather have done without,” Mirror (3-5-16); The Telegraph

[ii] Sam Tonkin, “Like talking to a brick wall! Teenagers’ brains start tuning out their mothers’ voices around the age of 13, study finds,” Daily Mail (4-28-22)